The past does not equal the future.

More on illegal immigration...

2006-06-06T08:04:00.000-05:00

In response to an anonymous response on my illegal immigration post.

I don't disagree that illegal immigrants (almost all immigrants, actually) are extremely hard working people. I've worked with several immigrants (most of whom were illegal) and was continually amazed at their ability to do their "less than glamorous" jobs faithfully and without complaint. And, for what it's worth, their ability to do so with their families back home in mind is admirable. Service before self (that's an Air Force core value ;) ).
The problem here is not the character of the illegal immigrant. Everyone understands their desire to be in America and, for the most part, these illegal immigrants don't take their opportunity here for granted. The real issue is the way in which they have chosen to take advantage of our opportunities- illegally. They broke the law. We don't (or shouldn't) let anyone else get away with law breaking, why them? Is it because there are so many people doing it, that makes it suddenly "ok"? I understand that deporting them all isn't a viable solution, but neither is blanket amnesty. I think that we should crack down on employers that are hiring illegal immigrants, and dry up the job resources. At the same time, if not before, we need to lock down our border. 6,000 National Guard troops on the border is only a start. America needs to get serious about this vulnerability. We also need to get rid of whatever law says that if an illegal immigrant has a baby here, that their baby automatically becomes a citizen. What kind of f***ed up logic is that???
For those, like the person who responded to my previous blog, that believe that we need those illegal immigrants to do jobs Americans aren't willing to do, let me say this- if the illegal immigrant is given some kind of legal status here, suddenly s/he will have rights. Employers will no longer be able to pay their workers disgraceful amounts of money without fear of retribution. The illegal immigrant then becomes just like any other American. We have a right to be paid at least minimum wage, and we won't work for less. Suddenly, you have jobs out there that illegals were doing, but are no longer because the pay sucks! What do you have as a result? In my mind you have an uneducated person, with several children (more than likely), that is out of work, and feeding off our welfare system. At the very worst that's around 11 million people added to "the system"? How's that work for America, or more importantly, Joe American out there, who is working and paying his dues to feed his family with no help from the gov't?? It doesn't. We have to crack down on illegal immigration, while at the same time remaining mindful of the plight of those in our surrounding countries. The result won't be perfectly fair, but we have to put our country's well-being (in this case) first.

*I wrote the word "illegal" in bold to avoid any misunderstanding about the issue at hand. I am not arguing against immigration in general.

This is scary...

2006-04-11T08:47:00.000-05:00

This was in the Washington Post-

"As Bush and the Republicans falter, Democrats have emerged as the party most Americans trust to deal with such issues as Iraq, the economy and health care. By 49 to 42 percent, Americans trust Democrats more than Republicans to do a better job of handling Iraq."

What Democrats? Al Gore? Or Howard Dean?

Adios Muchachos! A post concerning illegal immigrants

2006-04-11T07:37:00.000-05:00

Tell me you aren't completely frustrated by the recent immigration protests! I'm sooooooooooo angry! And let me say, first off, that I've never seen so many Hispanics in DC as I have in the last couple of days! They're everywhere! We need to get la migra out here and start roundin them up! I mean, this is the perfect opportunity! They're all out in the open, congregating in groups of 100,000! An INS dream come true! (okay, so INS doesn't exist anymore, but you get the point) So yesterday I was driving home from work and I saw a group of about 5 Hispanics walking with the American flag turned upside down! So you're demanding that Americans pay with our hard earned tax dollars for you to come into our country, break our laws, and then spit in our faces? No, I don't think so! And why aren't all these Mexicans down in their own damn country protesting their government?! After all, it's their corrupt gov't leaders that make it impossible for them to make any sort of living in their own country anyway! And what really gets me, is that it seems like most of America agrees with them! "Let them come in illegally! Everyone should be allowed access to our country, our jobs!" Yeah, that's all well and good if you're basing your argument on emotion alone! But if those people took their only two brain cells and rubbed them together, they might realize that our porous borders, allowing every Mexican and their perro to cross the border, also make it extremely easy for any member of Al-Qaeda to do the same! No, we're not saying you are terrorists! (don't be so dumb!) We're saying that the same way you broke into our country is the same way Al-Qaeda will, and probably already has! And if we don't tighten up our border security, and the terrorists have their way, there will be no America to sustain your families south of the border! So eat that hombres! :)

:|

2006-04-06T11:14:00.000-05:00

I finished my test and I feel a little less excited than I had hoped. The test was hard. Well, not necessarily hard, but stressful. The lady giving the test wasn't very pleasant and decided that she wasn't going to give us a one minute warning (or any kind of warning) as we ran out of time on each section. That was fine for the first section (Verbal Analogies) because I finished it with enough time to spare. But then came the Arithmetic Reasoning section, which historically, I'm not the best at. I made it halfway through the section before the lady called time. It was a shock! I had no idea I had used up that much time already! And because she didn't give a warning, I wasn't able to fill in the rest of the test just in case I happened to get one right. So I had about 10-15 questions blank! Automatically incorrect! That really threw me off. I almost went into panic mode, but I was able to keep my cool and finish the first half of the test. Then we got a much needed 15 min. break. The second half of the test wasn't so bad. It consisted of more abstract material, ie. hidden figures and block counting. The final section was a survey about ourselves. I think I got every one of those answers right. :) Anyway...I'll find out in two weeks how I did. Hopefully God pulls out a miracle and I did much better than I expected... if not, I'll just have to find another way into the military.

And finally....the AFOQT!

2006-04-05T13:55:00.000-05:00

The test is tomorrow!! I just want to get it over with already! I've been studying pretty hard in the last week and finally feel confident about the math sections! Hopefully I feel as confident tomorrow! I'd appreciate any and all prayers you can offer up for me! I just pray for confidence...I think that's all it's going to take- confidence. The test is at 7:45 tomorrow morning. I'll be sure to let you all know how it went! I did a "dry run" by Andrews AFB today (never driven there before) and I can't tell you how badly I wished I were going to work there. I really want to be in the AF! More than anything at this point! It's up to God though...I'll just have to see what He thinks about it. :)

Besides my test- I wanted to inform you that I'm becoming more and more of a grown up. This is pretty pathetic, but I actually scheduled and attended my very first dentist appt as an adult yesterday. No parents involved. :) No cavities, btw! And then today I filed my taxes! I'm getting a nice return, so that's awesome! I can finally pay off my stupid credit card! Sad news for them, no more interest...

Alright- prayers needed for tomorrow morning! I gotta go back to studying now!

ps- thanks to Mike for the well wishes!

I'm sorry God

2006-03-21T12:37:00.000-05:00

To be honest, I've been struggling spiritually for the last several months. Maybe even the last year. My commitment to Christ, and all that that entails, has been all over the map. There, gone, kinda, maybe, not... That's very discouraging to me.

I was thinking this morning that I believe it's easier to accept that you are saved by His grace when you feel like you're doing everything right. When I was praying regularly, reading the Bible, going to church, tithing, etc. it was real easy to believe that I'm a Christian and that God loves me. But now that I'm not doing so great on prayer, reading my Bible, going to church (or actually, really engaging in church), tithing, I feel like the biggest hypocrite. Completely letting God down and becoming completely undeserving of His love or grace. Actually, I don't think it's a stretch to say that I feel like He doesn't even have enough grace for the amount of rebellion and unwillingness to try that I've got going on.

But I feel like I'm being continually reminded that it has to be for times like these that make Christ so much better than any other option out there. He knows we screw up, He knows we're screwing up, He knows we're going to continue screwing up, but He has chosen to love us anyway. All we have to do is accept that. I think the rest must fall into place. Like, the more we understand His love, manifest in the sacrifice of His son, the more we want to do better, be better. But how do I get to that place where I really believe that my salvation is not earned but given?

I just need God to stick with me while I work my way through this...

AFOQT

2006-03-01T10:45:00.000-05:00

As I posted last week, I was scheduled to take the AFOQT tomorrow. However, I learned yesterday that there are sections on the test that I had previously been unaware of, and therefore, hadn't prepared for ( like "Electrical Maze" for starters)! I didn't feel comfortable taking the test without having studied for these additional sections- especially since you can only take the test twice, with six months in between. So I called the recruiter today and rescheduled my test for April 6th. I was really looking forward to getting the ball rolling on this whole military thing, but I guess I can wait another month! At least now I have time enough to thoroughly study all sections and hopefully do really well on it in April!

Dreamin' with Dr. Phil

2006-02-23T11:53:00.000-05:00

I'm in a blah mood today. There are a number of things floating around in my head that make me feel unsettled.
The weird thing is that this morning, immediately when I woke up, I found myself saying "The only one responsible for your happiness is yourself" (very Dr. Phil). It was almost as if I had been saying this over and over to myself even before I woke up. I guess it's proving to be a perfect and necessary mantra for this day I'm having.

Small steps

2006-02-23T11:08:00.000-05:00

I just scheduled myself to take the Air Force Officer Qualifying Test next Thursday. I figure I'd better just take the test and see how I do. I'll make more decisions regarding the military after I get my score. Scary...

I have a headache.

2006-02-21T19:35:00.000-05:00

Although I did just have a great run, I also have a killer headache!!! These headaches have become more of a norm since I gave up coffee. Well, not only that, I gave up caffeine entirely. So far I feel that my energy level is more consistent, which is great! I just need these headaches to let up a bit. Oh, I also tacked on sweets to my "commitment", although I'm not holding as strictly to that part of the deal.

So, despite any complications or temptations, I'm still going strong! I fully anticipate that I will meet 90 days without a problem.

Ahhhh....Mount Vernon trail!

2006-02-21T19:26:00.000-05:00

I just got home after experiencing a fantastic run at Mt. Vernon trail. Can I tell you how much I love it out there??? I used to run 3-4 days a week after work, but once the marathon was over, I lost all motivation. But the nice weather has inspired me again, and so I went straight after work...just like the "old days"! It was just incredible! Perfect weather, great view of the monuments, and, the greatest part, two of the President's helicopters flew overhead and did a sharp simultaneous turn right in front of me! Amazing!!! What I wouldn't give to fly one of those! I can't wait till spring is fully here so that I can spend so many more afternoons out there!

90 Day Commitment

2006-02-14T08:26:00.000-05:00

You'll never believe what I decided to give up for 90 days. Coffee. Oh man. That's gonna be real tough. Ever since I made this commitment (last night), it's all I've been thinking about. I was even going to take a trip to Caribou today (since I'm working downtown this morning), but no. I will resist the temptation. If I'm right, I believe that the 90th day is May 15. I know I can do this though. One time I followed a workout regime for 90 days straight. It was called "Power 90" and required that I work out 6 days a week for just over 12 weeks. It was pretty hardcore, I thought. Anyway, this deprivation can mean nothing but good for me and my bank account, so that's gotta serve as some kind of motivation!

Stuck in a moment

2006-02-13T00:11:00.000-05:00

Do you ever walk down a road that you know you shouldn't be walking down? All of your logic is trying to steer you in a completely different direction, but it cannot overcome your emotionally driven will? That's where I am. Not good. And yet, even as I recognize all of the above to be true for me right now, I'm still purposefully playing the "ignorance" card with an almost 100% guarantee of paying dearly for it. Frustrating. As I was just sitting here contemplating this mess I've gotten myself into, the chorus of a song came to mind.

You've got to get yourself together
You've got stuck in a moment
And now you can't get out of it
Don't say that later will be better
Now you're stuck in a moment
And you can't get out of it

...and another part of the song-

You are such a fool
To worry like you do..
OhI know it's tough
And you can never get enough
Of what you don't really need now

The best part-

It's just a moment
This time will pass

Should I be all that I can be?

2006-02-10T17:54:00.000-05:00

Ut oh. The military is calling again. Tired of hearing me talk about this? Me too. I've been talking to recruiters, no lie, since I was 16. I almost even joined the Army right out of high school. After a long talk with the recruiter, and an even longer talk with my mom, I decided to join. However, the day or two before I had to give the recruiter an answer, I talked to a family member in the military who advised me to go to college first so that I could graduate and become an officer. So that became my new plan, and off to college I went. But I didn't forget my desire to be in the military while in college. Actually, I spoke to recruiters at least once every year of college. Especially after my brother became a Marine. I even talked to a Marine recruiter. Needless to say, that was a short lived desire. My junior and senior year of college I again met with Air Force and Army recruiters with the intention of going to OCS after college. However, by the end of college I had been given the opportunity to go to Washington D.C. for the American Studies Program. New plan...go to ASP then join the Air Force. But then after ASP I got a job and stayed in DC. This summer I revisited the military...this time I spoke with an officer recruiter for the Air Force. Again, no deal. According to him, due to the high number of applicants, limited number of jobs, and my non-technical degree, I had a 5% chance of being accepted. That was really disappointing news. But wait, a glimmer of hope! I met a guy who had some "connections" at the Pentagon and ended up having a Master Chief at the Pentagon give me a call to see what he could do. Unfortunately, after explaining my situation, he echoed the words of the officer recruiter. He did, however, instruct me to drop his name with the recruiter if I decided to go for it. So just about six months later, and I'm at it again. I want to join, and I think I've developed a plan. I'd like to join Air National Guard in D.C. and become a medic. Call me crazy, but I really want to go to Iraq and take care of our wounded there. So I called up another recruiter and learned that in order to take that road, I'd have to invest in 7 months of training in Texas!! Texas?! I want to stay in DC!!! That prompted more thinking, planning, strategizing, and most importantly, praying. I've been really praying that God would give me some direction in this...join or not? officer or enlisted? active or reserve? I think that I finally know my answer. I must join. It's an undying dream...there has to be some credence to that. Therefore, within the next month I would like to join the Air National Guard here in DC, active duty, enlisted. Why enlisted when I could become an officer? Mostly because I want to be a medic, and that's not an option as an officer, but also because I can always move up to officer once in. The only thing standing in my way now is fear. I'm even afraid of the process of signing up. In order to join I will have to go to Andrews Air Force Base and spend the night at MEPS, where I will take the ASVAB and then get a complete physical, among other things completed. So I'm pretty scared of that whole process. I'm also real scared of basic training. Mostly the physical stuff... like jousting and rope climbing... fear of failure. Other than that I'm "good to go"! ;) Anyway, if you want to offer any helpful advice, encouragement, or prayer, have at it! I definitely need it!

Sadness.

2006-02-03T11:57:00.000-05:00

Do you ever have one of those days, or even one of those weeks, in which you feel that you're perpetually on the verge of tears? If you're a girl, you probably know what I'm talkin about. The last couple of days I've just felt like I want to cry. But for what? I have no idea. I just need to check out for awhile and stay in my bed until this passes. Unfortunately that isn't exactly possible right now, so I'll just have to push myself through the rest of this day. Luckily I have the USO tonight. That ought to cheer me up a bit!

Help Wanted! :)

2006-01-31T14:49:00.000-05:00

I'm trying to write a cover letter and I'm having the worst time! I have never, that's right, never written a cover letter before. How's that work? I don't know. It just does. I know there are some rules to follow, but I don't know what they are. I've googled it, but there are so many different formats and what not that I don't really feel like wading through it all. Do you all have any advice on how to write an amazing cover letter. I wish I could just go meet the lady instead of writing this thing. I think my knowledge of and enthusiasm for this job would be best displayed in a face to face interaction. I guess that's not going to happen though. So, advice still needed!

Yeah, I might be a hater.

2006-01-28T23:00:00.000-05:00

I'm often accused of being what's known as a "hater". (And I'm pretty sure that's just about the nerdiest and most uncool thing I've ever written. :) ) Anyway, I have a friend staying with me who was just accepted to John Hopkins U. So we spent all day today up in Baltimore trying to find an apartment for her. Have you ever been to Baltimore? I went once before for an Orioles game, but I didn't really have any strong feelings about the place. That all changed today.

I mean no offense by this, but Baltimore is a dump! I don't think I've ever been to a city so thoroughly run down as this one. Sure, DC has some "interesting" areas, but they're pretty isolated. Basically, it's more nice than not. So, the whole time I was riding around up there, I was thinking a) how thankful I am to live in Alexandria and b) how I can't wait to get back home. Fortunately, after a really really shady apartment find and another one over run with dogs (12 to be exact- complete with their own bedroom), we were able to find a really nice place close to the university. Not only was the apartment nice, but the area was decent too. About half a mile from the place, there's this really cute kind of main street complete with small businesses and coffee shops.

Anyway, it was an interesting day.

0 comments

2006-01-26T15:06:00.000-05:00

Do you know that I wait with anticipation for someone, ANYONE, to comment on my blog?! How self absorbed am I?! So, someone say something. Please! Validate my need for attention! :)

A sad day in Palestine

2006-01-26T08:40:00.000-05:00

Last night on the news I watched a story covering the Palestinian elections, and was told that the ruling Fatah Party had likely won the vote. With the little amount of education I have on the Israeli-Palestinian issue, I knew that had to be a good thing. From what I've seen, Fatah's leader, Mahmoud Abbas has been doing a good job of striving for peace in the region.

However, I just checked the news again this morning only to find that Hamas has won the election instead!! According to the article I read this morning, "Israel and the United States have said they would not deal with a government led by Hamas, which has carried out dozens of suicide bombings and which they consider a terrorist group."

It seems like with every step forward in the middle east, there is a giant leap backwards to follow.

However, Hamas seems ready and willing to cooperate. "Hamas said before the election it does not want to govern alone, and would prefer to bring Fatah into a coalition. Hamas officials said the group would declare its intentions after official results are announced.
Hamas' exiled supreme leader, Khaled Mashaal, called Abbas from Syria to discuss the results. 'He stressed Hamas insists on a partnership with all the Palestinian factions, especially our brothers in Fatah,' Hamas said on its Web site."

Hopefully Hamas' victory will not prove a big loss for the region.

"Support the Troops"

2006-01-25T12:46:00.000-05:00

It has long been my hypothesis that those who oppose the war in Iraq, but "support the troops", are merely playing the whole "politically correct- let's feel good about ourselves" game so commonly seen in America today. Honestly, I don't understand how you really can oppose the war, but support the troops. We have a volunteer army, many of whom are willingly and eagerly honoring their commitment to our nation by giving their all to the mission in Iraq. Although many in the media, Congress, etc. paint the members of our military as victims of a corrupt government, it has been my personal experience that many of our troops are not at all opposed to the mission laid before them by the Bush administration. So again I ask, how can you "support the troops" without supporting the mission they are giving their lives for?? Is the line between their overall duty and this mission in Iraq really that clear? Well, apparently not.

It seems that cracks are beginning to develop in the widespread support for our nation's military. On Tuesday, LA Times columnist Joel Stein wrote a column in which he stated "I don't want to support the troops." In the column Stein seems to realize that support for the troops is not as isolated from their mission as many would have us to believe. Among other things, he argues that our support for the troops is prolonging the war in Iraq by preventing the full extent of justice from being exercised on the "the hawks who sent them there"- as if the support for the military is bleeding over into some kind of support for the President. Stein's column has inspired others to share their (perhaps previously withheld) opinions on the involvement of our troops in this war. For instance, one comment posted on the LA Times message board states that "Finally someone had the guts to say it. These soldiers are volunteers and responsible for the deaths of more than 50,000 innocent men, women and children and they should be held responsible, just like the people who started this illegal war." Now, whether or not Joel Stein would support this sort of extreme statement is not exactly clear. But I do believe that both opinions, when taken into consideration, are reflective of a sentiment shared (but not necessarily expressed) by a growing portion of this nation.

As American frustrations grow concerning this war in Iraq, I can't help but be reminded of the utterly tragic way in which our troops were treated during a similar situation with the Vietnam war. And although I don't know enough about either war to accurately draw comparisons between the two, I do know is that if this trend continues, the anamosity and hate for the troops of that era will again reign in this one. We can only hope and pray that it never comes to that.

Job hunting

2006-01-24T15:57:00.000-05:00

Well, since the military doesn't really seem like an option for me right now, I've begun my search for a new job!

Right now, I have two prospects. Go ahead and tell me what you think about them. ;)

My first prospect is working as a loan processor for a mortgage company. If that's even what they're called. Mortgage company? Yikes! Maybe I'd better do a little research on that job before I apply for it! ;) So I met a girl the other night who explained the job to me and it sounded fairly interesting. The salary is the most interesting part though. It would be kinda neat to work in mortgage banking though, cause that's what my uncle does! We could sit around and talk business. :)
My second prospect deals in an area very near and dear to my heart... Conservatism. :) I'd like to apply for a research position at a very well known think tank here in DC. Probably not too hard to figure out which one. It would definitely be a change to work with people that share my love for Fox News and President Bush. A very welcomed change, mind you.

So these are my latest aspirations in life. One week it's flight attendant, the next it's nurse practicioner... at least I keep it interesting! I'll keep you updated.

I just need to say that...

2006-01-23T16:06:00.000-05:00

YES! I do love President Bush and approve of most (but not all) of his policies! Ok?

So, I just found out that my new boss is also a President Bush hater, along with the rest of my co-workers. They were harmlessly teasing me about my support of him, but I couldn't help but notice the angry and hateful undertone in their quips. My political loyalties are deeply felt and so this lady's really toeing the line here. I think the sooner we can get her on the "no political discussions" bandwagon, the better off we'll be. It's not like my job has any direct connection to politics that would warrant any conversation of the sort!

Alright- I just needed to vent.

-let me just say, the lady continues, even as I write this, to GRATE on my nerves! SHUT.UP!

Final picture update

2006-01-13T20:30:00.000-05:00

This is Joy's bachelorette party! I was a bridesmaid for the first time!!! Probably not my last! Hopefully I'll be a bride before I'm bridesmaid again!! That one's for you Jesus! ;)

We went to a brand new Turkish restaurant in St. Louis. Very nice. Afterward we went to the Chocolate Bar. It's a bar that serves everything chocolate, including alcohol, hence the catchy name. They also had cookies on every table!! Too bad I don't live in St. Louis anymore!!

From left to right... Erin (i think. poor form, I know), Leah (getting married soon!), Kelly, Stacey, Nikky (now Joy's sister-in-law), Pammy, and me! Of course, Joy's the one with the sash. :)

Shalom in action

2006-01-13T20:17:00.000-05:00

These are some of my friends from ASP. This was sometime last year... I think it was probably February, March...somewhere in there. In the back row (from left to right) is my wonderful roommate Becky, Andy, Dave and Anika. Don't Becky and Andy look like they're a happy couple?? I thought so too. They're not though. Both have significant others actually. :) In the front is me, of course, and Scruggy. She just got back from the Israel/Palestine region where she was learning how to push for peace in the region. She's really neat! Speaks Arabic too!

Views of Washington

2006-01-13T20:06:00.000-05:00

I absolutely love living in Washington D.C.! Look how beautiful it is!!! I took this picture one summer night after I had finished a run around the National Mall. Beautiful!!! Sometimes when I catch a glimpse of the Capitol, or the Washington monument I almost have to pinch myself!

Ahhhh, Spring!!! The Cherry Blossoms here are just spectacular! I can't wait for them to begin blooming again! And with this 60 degree weather that we've been having, it seems that Cherry Blossom time is right around the corner!

More pictures!

2006-01-13T19:58:00.000-05:00

These are the pictures from my very first 4th of July in our nation's capitol! It was a great, pride filled experience! I am definitely proud to be an American! By the way, sorry the quality isn't exactly top-notch. It was hard keeping my hands from moving while my camera was taking these night time pics.

Nickel Creek

2006-01-13T19:49:00.000-05:00

About three months ago (maybe longer, can't remember) I had the distinct privilege to attend a Nickel Creek concert at the 9:30 club here in DC. Let me tell you...they are AMAZING! I suggest you make it your New Year's resolution to catch them in concert. If you do, two words of wisdom- 1) get there early so you can be right up against the stage, or close to it 2) stay afterward. Sometimes they do a little sidewalk performance after the show. I didn't know this until the day after! Believe me, I was pissed.

Anyway, I meant to post these pictures right after the concert, but never did. By the way, I would have had more (and better) pictures had my camera battery not died four pictures in. :(

P.S.

2006-01-06T11:42:00.000-05:00

That last message was especially directed to Laura! Come on girl! I've been staring at your Christmas tree for weeks now! I know you're busy trying to save a certain politician's troubled campaign, but I have a troubled work experience. I need your attention too! ;)

Zzzzzzzz....

2006-01-06T11:39:00.000-05:00

I'm so bored right now that I'm actually re-reading (and throughly enjoying the genius of) my own blog! How sad is that? Maybe if you guys would update your blogs I might not be stuck reading my own! :)

Crash and burnt.out.

2006-01-04T15:13:00.000-05:00

I'm done. I can't handle my job very much longer! The only thing keeping me going is that I work with awesome co-workers. But the clients...that's a whole 'nother story. There's too much to go into now...but seriously...
So I'm kinda feelin' out my options. I really want to join the military (story of my life), but I'm not quite yet in the position to do that. I'm getting there though. It would also help if I had a solid plan for my future...one minute it's doctor, the next it's FBI, then lawyer. I'm all over the map and have absolutely no sense of direction. My pastor once said that there are so many options out there for today's twenty-something's that it's become paralyzing. Amen!!! I just want to find the career that's going to completely utilize the gifts that God has given me in a way that serves other people. That's the only thing I know I want to do- help people. And I'm pretty sure that the people I care absolutely the most about are those in the military. In the same sermon in which Pastor Mark made the above statement, he also said that in order to find what your passion is you must ask yourself what brings you to tears and at the same time makes you want to slam your fist in anger. No doubt, hands down, that's the military. I think I'm really drawn to the idea of willing, selfless sacrifice. That's what each and every member of our military is doing/has done. Especially those that are fighting or have fought in our nation's battles. Nothing brings me to tears like the stories of our soldiers, sailors, Marines, or airmen who have given their lives or limbs in service to our country. I watched Band of Brothers a couple of nights ago, for the second time. Both times I walked away bawling. Not just tearing, bawling! Especially when Maj. Dick Winters tells the story about the day his grandson asked him if he was a hero in the war. "Grandpa says- no, but I served beside them." Ah. Gets me EVERY TIME.
Well, now I'm all over the place in this post. I could talk about the military for hours. Point is...I want a new job, but beyond that, I want to find my calling. My purpose. I may be naive, but I have to believe that God put me, Melissa, on this Earth for more than this.

If only our dreams were more like reality...

2006-01-04T08:53:00.000-05:00

I have so many odd dreams, and last night's was no exception. And when I woke up, I was left with that longing feeling that it be true. Which is sad, as you soon will realize what my dream was really about.

Last night I had a dream that I had gone to New Orleans, pre-Katrina. I was at this huge, 80's style (think pastels and rattan- basically Golden Girls), hotel with my mom and dad, david, and grams. At the beginning of my dream we were at the hotel's restaurant about to eat dinner. Apparently I had gotten there later than everyone else, and had missed my chance to order. So I left their table and got one of my own in another part of the restaurant. When the waitor came to my table, I realized that he was none other than the Anderson Cooper (on CNN- Anderson 360)! However, this fact wasn't a big deal in my dream.

Well, flirting between me and the silver haired hotty quickly ensued. :) Anderson and I began discussing New Orleans and how I was going to go sightseeing after dinner. He was telling me how great of a place it was and even said that if I got lost I could call him. Score! Then, and even better (!), he said that instead of letting me go sightseeing alone, he would just show me around. So while he went to get my check, I went over to my parent's table to tell them I was heading out. While I was still with my family, Anderson came over and discretely showed me my check with his name and number written at the bottom. :) The dream concluded with Anderson telling me that he would only take me out one time, but that he couldn't gaurantee a second date, to which I said "you cocky bastard! you got a deal!" (sorry for the language, it's what I said though!!). Then we rode off into the sunset! ;)
So that's my dream from last night! It's so retarded, I know! I don't even care that much about Anderson Cooper to have a dream like that! He's hot, but so what? So are a bunch of other people! It was definitely a random dream!

Grrrrrr!!!!!

2005-12-23T08:35:00.000-05:00

So I go to the gas station last night, reach into my wallet for my check card, and discover that it's missing! At first, I calmly check my purse, and then my wallet again, sure that I must have overlooked it. I check again and again. No check card. I check my pockets. No check card. My car. No check card. Panic quickly sets in. "Where the heck is my check card?! I need it! I'm leaving for home tomorrow and I'll probably have to use it to pay for my parking!" (this is my internal dialogue, just in case you didn't notice ;) ). I sped home, hoping, praying that it was on the table, or in my bedroom. After tearing my place apart (and then putting it together again for the next 3 hours), I still had not located my card. So I'm stuck. No check card and a maxed out credit card. Good times. So I don't know what I'm going to do. I wouldn't really mind all that much if I wasn't traveling tomorrow! Usually at the airport you pay for parking after you return from your trip. But Dulles has these special holiday parking lots that require that you pay upfront! If you think of it, will you say a prayer that a miracle happens and I find my card? Funny thing though- I was just searching my office, and in the search, I found one of the many Smart Trip cards I've misplaced over the past few months! Ridiculous!

11 hours +

2005-12-22T08:44:00.000-05:00

That's how much sleep I got last night! Unbelievable! I have no idea what's going on with me lately, but when I get home from work, I'm completely wiped out! I couldn't help it last night, I had to succumb. So at 7:15, I went to bed! Really pathetic. Maybe I needed it, I don't know. But it's not like my life and schedule are rigorous or stressful. It's definitely no more difficult than college! So, I don't know. I have a hypothesis though. I think that I'm super tired because it's getting darker earlier! I must be conditioned to get tired when it gets dark, and now that it gets dark so ridiculously early, my body thinks that, despite the early hour, it's time for bed! This makes me excited for spring and summer again!

One more! Wow, I'm really on it today!

2005-12-21T13:01:00.000-05:00

Now I'd like to give a little update on my life.

First of all, I'm moving! :) Becky and I have decided that Reston really is too far away from the city, so we've found an amazing townhouse in Alexandria! The guy who owns it is only 27! Anyway, let me give you a little visual of the place. First of all, it's a three story townhouse with a garage! Did you hear me?? A GARAGE! My car will be soooo happy! So you walk in the place and there is a little foyer leading to a den, in which the washer and dryer are located. That'll be our area for hanging out and watching movies/tv, what have you. Now you walk up the first set of stairs and find a large living room (complete with fireplace), hardwood floors. Attached to the living room is a half-bathroom that is SO ADORABLE and Pottery Barn like! Adjacent to the living room is a dining area, which has a door leading to a deck. On the other side of the dining area is the kitchen, which is VERY cute and has great cabinents! That's it for the second floor. Now you go up one more flight of stairs and there is a master bedroom with master bath. There are also two smaller rooms with a smaller bathroom. Even though the bedrooms are small, they're still great, cause they have really high slanted ceilings! How did we settle who would get the master bedroom you may be asking yourself? It was easy, I didn't want it and Becky did. So there you have it! I think she should pay more actually (what do you think Becky?). The only hitch in this plan is that we are without a third roommate. There's actually a not so fun story about that, which I won't blog about. So we're on the hunt! If you happen to know anyone that wants to pay about 650ish a month + utilities for an awesome place with a couple of really amazing girls, have them give me call!

Now, I must rant!

2005-12-21T12:25:00.000-05:00

I'm a huge fan of Bill O'Reilly. Despite his huge ego and general arrogance (which are warranted in my opinion!), he has a lot of interesting points that not everyone is talking about these days. For instance, the war on Christmas. Now this whole issue seems to be the baby of Fox News this season, as everyone on that channel is talking about! John Gibson actually wrote a book on it! Anyway...I completely agree that there is a war on Christmas! Watch one segment of the O'Reilly Factor discussing this topic, and you'll see how ridiculous it really is! So why am I talking about this? Well, last week I experienced my own personal bit of anti-Christmas bah humbug watered down, seemingly inclusive, and ultimately P.C.B.S. (politically correct bull shit. :) ), at my place of employment. Last Friday, at our little non-profit organization, we had a Chris- I mean, a HOLIDAY party! Yes, a HOLIDAY party! Now, in and of itself, the term "holiday party" isn't that offensive. But when the organizer of this party tells us that we are not to identify this as a Christmas party, and that we are not allowed to say "Merry Christmas", things get a little touchy. In fact, I was pissed! (and here comes the rant) First of all, there would be no Christmas if weren't for the birth of one Jesus Christ, whether you consider him God or just some guy born 2000 years ago! And civilizations have been celebrating that birth for years since! Why is it so taboo all of a sudden??? Second of all, Christmas is a federal holiday!! Isn't it enough that these anti-Christian, anti-God, secular crazies have completely watered down the meaning of the Christmas season?? No, now we can't even call it by it's name! God forbid we offend ANYONE! Can't they just appreciate that the majority of people in America hold this holiday as sacred? I can appreciate that many Jewish people celebrate Hannukah! Or that other people celebrate Kwanza! I can also appreciate Ramadan, Yom Kippur, and any other holiday recognized in this country! So I say- Let's celebrate our diversity! We are not all the same! We are all unique, with different backgrounds and experiences! I can appreciate that! And just because the majority of American's all share the Christmas season, doesn't mean that it's bad! Since when did being in the majority become such a bad thing??!! (okay, that last part was a little bit of a tangent. I just had to fit it in)

Merry Christmas! I'm posting!

2005-12-21T12:12:00.000-05:00

I didn't realize that it has actually been as long as it's been since my last post! So sorry for the three of you that check in on it every once in a while.

I feel like I have a lot to say... I'll just start.

I found out today that I'm suffering from compassion fatigue, otherwise known as secondary vicarious trauma. As you know, my job requires that I be exposed to some pretty violent stuff. Until today, I always thought that I was just really good at blocking out all the crap I hear on a daily basis. I mean, it's not like I have nightmares, mood swings, depression, frequent crying spells. So today I attended a support group held especially for us intake counselors. The therapist lady (Sara) helped me understand that not everyone reacts to this job with the symptoms I've listed above. Some people, like me, can have more agressive reactions. Resentment, frustration, negative attitude, impatience. Now that's me all over the place. I get SO tired of hearing these people's problems! So then I get snippy with them, and ultimately don't provide the best service that I could if I weren't suffering from compassion fatigue. Bottom line- Sara says that everyone suffers from compassion fatigue, and that it is very common to have the feelings I'm experiencing. That's a relief. To help me out with this problem, Sara provided me with a list of ways to take care of myself...one recommendation, "take time out to be sexual- with yourself, and others." Hmmm...yeah, I'll look into that!

I'm tired. So what's new?

2005-10-26T18:06:00.000-05:00

I'm about at the end of my work day. I use the word "work" very loosely here. Today hasn't been very busy. I did help a few people though, so it wasn't all for nothing. But I've been sitting at my desk for the last hour reading my favorite blog in the whole world! In case you aren't familiar (which I'm sure all three of my friends who read this blog are), it's written by a 3rd year, potentially hot, and Jewish (!), med student. He's incredibly entertaining and often has me crying from laughter. I really want to meet him. He sounds perfect for me! Besides the fact that he's all about getting laid, democrat, oh, and did I mention, Jewish. :) Probably wouldn't work out. I'll just have to add him to the growing list of men that I won't ever have a relationship with. :( Okay...I'm rambling.

Just to remind you- my marathon is this Sunday. I will be running in the 8:45 wave. Apparently there will be two waves. One at 8:15 and one at 8:45. And I'll be running the whole thing ALONE! My brother and dad are planning on going their own pace. Oh well. I can do it. I'm super nervous (getting butterflies as we speak...or as I type)! But as my mom advised me...I just need to go out there and ENJOY the experience. And over the next days leading up to the BIG day, I'll be preparing my mind for just that, because as it turns out, running is an incredibly mental sport.

The good news in all of this is that my parents, brother, and Grams are all arriving in DC on Friday morning!! It'll be fun having them here. Upon their arrival, we are going to take a little trip up to Gettysburg so that my dad can experience it in all of it's glory. A trip to Gettysburg for my dad is like a trip to Mecca for a Muslim. Needless to say, I think he's looking forward to it!

Well, it's time to head out! I have to volunteer at the USO tonight! Hope you all (the three of you, for now!) are doing well!

I live on the East Coast- that's Eastern Standard Time

2005-10-20T22:27:00.000-05:00

I just noticed that my blog clock, as I will now call it, must be set to PST. I felt that I needed to point this out since my last post shows that, despite my dialogue on the late hour, it is only 7:52 p.m. Just for the sake of accuracy, I must explain that it is now, indeed, 11:30 p.m.

Now I can sleep with a clear conscious.

(By the way, this post exemplifies my nature, to which the title of my blog alludes. Get used to it. There is much more pointlessness to come.)

I've been in the presence of greatness.

2005-10-20T21:52:00.000-05:00

Last night, I experienced a mile-stone in my life- I went to my first U2 concert! Needless to say, it was amazing! Although my friend Laura and I were precariously stationed at the very very top row of the MCI Center, this concert will go down in history (my history, of course) as one of the best ever!

Now, unlike most of the concert goers last night, I haven't been a lifelong U2 fan. In fact, my obsession began just over a year ago, while attending the American Studies Program. There are two things I'll always remember ASP for- Shalom and Bono. Apparently the two go hand in hand. Thus, as my love of Shalom grew, so did my love of Bono, a principle player in the pursuit of this ancient Hebrew principle. (If you're unfamiliar with the greatness that is Bono, check out his One Campaign at www.one.org. And sign the petition while you're at it!) The truly wonderful thing about Bono is that his concern for social justice wholely consumes him. This is unlike many other celebrities in America today who do a little lip-service, throw some money at the issue of choice, and then, after satisfying their need to prove themselves "good", move back into their comfortable world of material excess. To be fair, I'm guilty of this myself, however on a much much smaller and unimpressive scale. :) The point is, Bono's absolute passion was not lost in the venue typically meant solely for "rocking out" (as my dear friend Anika would put it). The thing is...while most concerts are, well, just concerts, the concert last night felt like a rally. Like we were all brought together for a cause...to advocate for unity, peace, and love- overall, to advocate for the reconciliation in our world that our God so desires! So as I watched Bono sing, I was not reminded of the greatness of Bono, but the greatness of our God reflected through him. His pain and hope as expressed through his music, seemed to me, such an accurate depiction of what our Lord must feel. Such desperation for change, for reconciliation, for Shalom. And it is nothing but challenging and inspiring to be in the presence of someone who demands it as intensely as Bono. God Bless that man!

On a lighter note, last weekend I attended another great show, by another great band- Nickel Creek! Their new cd, Why Should the Fire Die? is totally rocking my world! And they can put on a show like none other! Not to mention, I have a thing for the mandalian player. Can't help it...he's dead sexy- although in a Tarantino kinda way. ;)

Alright- it's bedtime. I had intended to go to bed much earlier than this (seeing as I got about 5 hours of sleep last night) but thanks to my lovely roommate and her coffee maker, I'm still wide awake. Coffee... it's a wonderful thing.

Good night!

It's about time...

2005-10-18T11:45:00.000-05:00

I've finally stopped allowing my laziness to get the best of me! As you see, I've created a blog. Now my thoughts (which are often random, yet interesting ;) ), are available for all to read! Hope you enjoy!